Week 3 :-: Influence versus Authority

"The True Measure of Leadership Is Influence – Nothing More Nothing Less' ~ John Maxwell

We start this week's lesson with the two beautiful quotes above from Ken Blanchard and John Maxwell. What do you think about them? 

Most traditional definitions of leadership almost always have something to do with either position, title or power. Think about it for a moment. While titles can be assigned, it is clear that true leadership cannot be assigned, it has to be earned. You can hardly force anyone to consistently follow you. They may try for a while, but do you know what happens when you are not looking? 

Tough leader?

A servant leader understands that being in a position of leadership does not guarantee that people will follow you and if people are not following you, you are basically wasting everyone's time. If your ability to get things done is solely dependent either on your power, position or authority, imagine what will happen when you are gone. They will of course engage in what they want. Successful leadership therefore requires that even in your absence, your people will still continue being productive. Most groups fail because the leader has little influence on his/her people. They think their titles and power will translate to success but are surprised when this does not happen. Don't be deceived you need something greater than titles and power. You need to be able to influence people positively.

Servant leaders do not operate on the basis of personal power, they rather seek to develop their influence by building on their Emotional Intelligence and practicing Servant Leadership Influence Tactics (SLIT). SLIT characteristics worth developing include: love, vision, humility, trust, listening, empathy, conflict resolution, awareness, persuasion, conceptualization, foresight, stewardship, commitment to the growth of people & building community. We will talk about these in subsequent sessions, for now let us consider how to build the soft skill known as Emotional Intelligence.

What is Emotional Intelligence and how can you become a leader with greater influence, through emotional intelligence?

I once had a boss who decided to visit when he heard my son had an accident and was hospitalized. He spent about 2 hours playing with the little man and showered him with love and gifts. This was not a requirement in his job description and he did not do this to impress me. His show of affection was authentic. Guess what, after that incident, I knew he truly cared and I was willing to serve him even more. That is emotional intelligence in play. Do you feel what others feel and work with them taking into consideration their emotions as well as yours? Emotional intelligence is knowing ones emotions and the emotions of others and taking them into consideration as we interact with them. It is leading others with love.

When people show up late for work, what do you assume? When a colleague has a sick child, what do you do? In order to build your Emotional Intelligence, seek to know yourself better (Self- Awareness), control your emotions (Self-Regulation), build your social skills ( know the names of your people, their children etc.), develop empathy ( place yourself in the shoes of others) and practice motivation (celebrate successes, encourage others). 

I sometimes take my team out for lunch and have discovered this encourages bonding among us also. 

The true measure of leadership indeed  is influence. Let us work on improving on our ability to influence others positively by building our Emotional Intelligence. This week's assignment will require that you work on a specific activity daily. Read on:

Week 3 Assignment:

The assignment this week involves activities spread through out the week. Please give yourself enough time and plan to complete a single activity daily:

1. Self-Awareness Monday

Self-awareness will help you understand how your emotions and actions influence your capacity to manage both yourself and others.

Activity:

• Find out your personality type by takin this free online test https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test. What did you discover about yourself? Read and write down what you learn from the results of the test. This will help you build on your self-awareness. Knowing yourself better will also help you treat others better.
• Journal your thoughts – write down your thoughts as the day goes and evaluate them. Do your represent what you believe about yourself? Is that how you truly feel about yourself? You may want to stop and pray as you deal with negative thoughts. Evaluating your thoughts, helps you develop greater Self Awareness.
• Slow down- Think about and examine any strong emotions you had today. Your response to any emotion, is a proactive choice. Do not be led by your emotions but rather focus on how to deal with them. Were you successful in controlling your emotions? Ask the Holy Spirit to help you deal with your emotions.
• Observe rather than judge. Before you assume anything about anyone this week, stop and ask yourself if it is true. What are some assumptions you hold which are probably not true? Ask questions rather than judge.

     2.  Self-regulation Tuesday.

 Staying in control is a virtue and a gift of the Holy Spirit. Leaders who regulate themselves avoid  attacking others (verbally or otherwise), making rushed/ emotional decisions, stereotyping others and compromising their values. 

            

           Activity:

Write down a list of your values (personal code of ethics). Have you been living according to your values? A leader who does live according to his/her values experienced cognitive dissonance. If you are violating biblical values this is also called sin. 

• Do you hold yourself accountable when things go wrong? Stop blaming others. Examine your role and apologize when needed.
• Praying before making any decisions, can help you stay in control.

3. Motivation  Wednesday

 Self-motivation helps a leader achieve his/her goals and drives them to achieve excellent results. 

Activity:

Write down your goals and remind yourself why it is important that you stay motivated for your team (family etc.).

• Evaluate to know if you are making progress with regards to your personal goals.
• Be optimistic no matter what. Find something good about your different life situations and be thankful to God. Gratitude motivates.

      4.  Develop empathy Thursday

 Empathy is key to managing others as you put yourself in their shoes, listen actively to them and provide constructive feedback. 

Activity:

Put yourself in someone else' position this week. Listen to their views without challenging them.

• Pay attention to your body language and those of the people you lead. What are they “saying”?
• Respond to feelings and not just words.
• Do you know where your people live? 
• Do you know what challenges they go through?

 5. Improve your social skills Friday

Improving your social skills will improve your ability to understand others.

 Activity:

Learn how to resolve conflicts between team members. Are you aware of any conflicts in your different relationships ( professional, family or others)? Try to write down what the issues are and how each side feels about it? Write down what you can do to help each side understand the other better. 

• Improve your communication skills: verbal and non-verbal, written as well as listening. Are you satisfied with your verbal communication skills? Read an article on communication skills online and create a 6 months plan for taking your verbal communication abilities to the next level.
• Increase team loyalty by learning to give praise where it is due. Praise publicly rebuke privately. Write down some mistakes you recently made because of the shortcomings of a team member ( family, colleague or peer)? How can you increase the loyalty of team members in your different spheres of influence? Review an article online and write down a list of things you will do over the next 3 months, to improve team loyalty.
• Draw up a plan that will help you improve your Emotional Intelligence throughout this course.
• Write a brief summary of what you learned this week and explain why it is important for all leaders. Post on your blog and share the link in your group.