Week 19 :-: Resilience- Preparing for dark days.

Objective:

• Learn what it takes to adapt successfully and bounce back in the presence of risk, adversity, setbacks, high-stress situations and trauma.

“ But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves;  we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing;  persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; …”.2 Corinthians 4:7-9

If you stick around long enough as a leader, you will experience situations of high stress, setbacks or other events that may have a significant negative impact on you. Resilience is the ability to bounce back after adversity. A leader or team member with low personal resilience will be irritable, moody, easily depressed and may show signs of poor memory as well as of being in despair and hopelessness. This is not only very dangerous for the individual but may also have a negative impact on the entire team.

The introductory verse in this article describes how the apostle Paul was able to successfully stay resilient in the face of traumatic incidences threatening his very being. A servant leader will seek to build resilience both in self as well as in their team.

Five ways to build resilience:

1. Take care of yourself. There are things you can change (they fall in your circle of influence) and some that you can do nothing about. One thing you can definitely change is yourself. Take a piece of paper and write a random list of things you can do this week to take better care of yourself.  You may have written things like, rest, exercise, go for a walk., eat better sleep more, pray, smile. These are all good things you can do to take care of yourself. The truth is, if you do not strike a balance as a leader, you may end up experiencing the infamous burnout! Take care of yourself by doing those things that bring serenity and balance to your life. If you want to be healthy for example, you need to become more proactive about your food choices, practice portion control and exercise regularly.  When you do not take care of yourself, you will end up feeling your life is out of control. Maybe you have a challenge with public speaking and feel you have nothing to say when in an unfamiliar social environment. Do something about it today. Put your brain to work, read books and keep learning and do something you really like. God gave you an awesome brain for a purpose, use it!

2. Practice active problem solving. Sometimes leaders become paralyzed by the nature of the problems facing them. Some-how they hope the problems will go away by themselves. Avoidance is not a great strategy for solving problems, this strategy in fact generally just pushes the issue to a future date. Practice active problem solving. Face issues head on and deal with them as quickly as you can by tackling the root issues rather than focusing on your emotions. To practice active problem solving:

• Pray about what you are feeling and ask for grace to appropriately evaluate the situation.
• Determine what the best course of action is. The most beneficial course of action in certain situations may be to stay calm and write rather than speak.

Whatever the case do something rather than nothing.

3. Remind yourself of the promises of God. Sometimes life can throw so many things at you that test you to the core. It is in times like this that you need to go to your Bible and remind yourself of the promises of God. As a servant leader however, make time regularly to unwind, pray and dwell on the promises of God. This should help you develop trust and faith in God rather than in yourself or other men as your strength will fail you sometimes.

• Find your meaning and purpose. A servant leader understands he/she has been called by God for the purpose of building people and helping to point them to Jesus. This is motivation enough to keep going even on days when you feel unappreciated and even unloved. You can bounce back from any tragedy when your perspectives about your role in life is well understood. Why did God create you? What is your purpose in life (life mission)? Sometimes, due to your talents and abilities, people in your sphere of influence may want to load you with different responsibilities. Do you really need to say yes to all those different things people want you to do? I always remind myself that I am not indispensable. It is important to really focus on that which is relevant to your mission and for which you can dedicate time without offsetting balance. Take calculated risks and do not put yourself in the path of unnecessary danger. Unclutter your mind and free up needed resources by handing back responsibility you should not be handling but took it just because someone pressured you into it. I recently experienced this firsthand when one of my mentees took on so much, she finally dropped a vital responsibility as she could not physically or mentally handle all the responsibilities. I call this the Over Subscribed Syndrome (OSS). Determine your purpose and limit what you say yes to. If you become oversubscribed, you limit your ability to be effective and may end up facing burnout.

4. Develop support system. Your support system is who you count own when times are rough. This is not just about who you can count on though, but also includes assuming an attitude of gratitude for what you have rather than only seeing what you do not have. It has been demonstrated that people with certain chronic diseases heal faster when they manifest gratitude compared to those who do not. Do you have a list of things you are thankful for? Your support system would normally include but not limited to God, your spouse, children , family members and friends. Who would you call at 1 am (apart from God) when you are in a really difficult situation?

Building resilience both as an individual as well as in your team is key to your development process as a servant leader. The more resilient you or your team are, the greater your ability to perform at an optimal level while staying healthy, positive and strong.

Assignment 19

1. Write a list of things you can do to better take care of yourself in different domains.
2. Talk to three close people in your sphere of influence about developing resilience. Share the five steps with them and ask them to write a list of things they can do to develop resilience.
3. Reach out to 2 leadership course mates and encourage them about their progress. Ask them about the status of their progress with reading the lessons and assignments. Help them develop a plan for getting back on track.
4. Think about a adverse situations you found yourself in. Did you practice active problem solving or avoidance? What could you have done differently?
5. Write down two to four of God’s promises for you that you like meditating on. What do these promises mean for you?
6. Are you suffering from OSS? Do you know anyone suffering from OSS? What are you going to do in both cases?
7. List the names of the people in your Personal Support System (PSS). Pray and thank God for them.
8. Write a brief summary of what you learned this week and explain why it is important for all leaders. Post on your blog and share the link in your group.